I Meant It

"We will hurt each other babe, we will fight but I will give it all my best not to hurt you and just make you happy." 

-Charlie

So, we broke up. Funnily enough, I knew that it would happen. I was thinking about it but I just tried so hard to ignore the thoughts in my head and told myself that it will be okay in time. And maybe it will be. Just not this time. Not now.

We couldn't see each other as much as wanted to which eventually led to awkward silences when we were together and the relationship just started to dwindle. We both felt it. We both knew it.

And in the end, it was him who decided to open my eyes to it.

My Hero

I miss you and love you everyday, Daddy.

I still can't believe that a year ago, the man in my life, my hero took his last breath and walked on to a better world.

If someone told me early last year that by the end of 2008, I would'nt get to hear my Dad's laugh or get to hug him again, I would have just shook my head and wagged my finger at the possibility.

When we were in the hospital, there was one night when I couldn't sleep so I just settled myself on the couch and read a book. I heard my Dad moving in bed so I shifted up to check on him and there he was, sitting up, glasses on, reading a book as well.

"Hi Daddy."

"Hi Kadick, can't sleep?"

"No, what about you? Go to sleep na, get some rest."

"I've been sleeping the whole day eh. You should get some rest. I know you're tired."

I remember thinking how unfailingly kind he was, how much he put others ahead all the time. Who, despite their pain and suffering would think about the needs of someone else? My Dad, that's who.

It's unbelievable how much he went through in his life and how little I knew about them. Of course, I remember all the stories but I had no idea that there were still more to find out. His achievements, his generosity, his kindness, his honesty can't be compared. And the fact that he never showed them off makes them even more special.

A year ago, I was getting ready to go to the hospital and as I came back from the bathroom, I saw missed calls from the hospital phone. Thinking it was the usual, "Where are you" questions, I didn't call back and resumed to dressing up as fast as I could.

Then, my phone rang again.

"Your Dad is gone. Your Dad is gone." Our helper, Erica repeated hysterically.

I felt the wind knocked out of me as I fell on my chair.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I cried out in panic.

"Just come here. Your Dad is gone. Your Dad is gone."

Then she hung up.

Now It's My Turn

All the pictures & crazy times
Sisters at heart & partners in crime.

One wasted, fun night, my best friend grabbed her notebook and amidst all our giggles, she managed to write down the reasons why she loves me. Out of the blue, for no reason at all. Until this day, it never fails to touch my heart:

All about HER. (she's fucking awesome)

1. She is the only person in the whole world who thinks that Rupert Grint is the shit and the hottest muthafacka in the world
2. Only she can make me laugh so hard that i fall on the floor, clutching my sides
3. She’s smart and witty and intelligent, and one hell of a writer!
4. She has farting boyfriends contests
5. She doesn’t let me get away with shit
6. She’s adorable
7. We both want to build shrines for our men’s ****’s
8. We spoog to Dirty Dancing 2
9. She says “Tite ng kalabaw”
10. She loves chili
11. We grew up together and she has ALWAYS been there for me
12. She collects Harry Potter fan art
13. We both find the same guys to be worthy of being deemed “shalomnations”
14. She’s a true romantic, just like me, and knows what love is and that it exists
15. We laugh together for hours
16. We can fit one whole conversation in one shared glance
17. She possesses such inner strength…
18. To shit is to live
19. She’s one of  a kind, you’ll never meet another like her in the world.
20. She is, to me, perfect in every way

These are but a few reasons why i love my best friend. She’s fucking awesome and i love her to death. :)

 I always meant to do the same for her but all I could come up with was some crappy letter in my crappy writing thanking her for being who she is and even though it was enough for her, it's still not enough for me.

So here I go: