Happy 1st Bday Blog

happy 1st year anniversary to my blog! :D

actually i had the account since december 2002 but i was an idiot and i thought that phrase "create a new blog" meant to create another journal in the same account and NOT a new entry.

so, obviously, i got confused and i just discarded it.

but by some miracle, i actually found out how to work this.

one year. woohoo. i love 1 year annivs. theyre fun.

geez, what the hell am i on? im shutting up now.

++++

read this, its pretty interesting:

Now sexy is difficult. All week long I’ve been trying to work out what makes someone sexy. But it’s very, very difficult.

Pretty is easy. Pretty is a fresh face, bright eyes, soft hair, an innocence that perhaps you fancy, perhaps you don’t. Pretty is Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s.

Good-looking is easy. Good-looking differs from pretty in that you have to fancy good-looking. We’ve now moved on to the sexual rather than the merely aesthetic. Good-looking is pretty plus you want to take them to bed. This is not to say, of course, that all men will agree on whether a particular woman is good-looking. Nor is it true to say that all men have a ‘type’.

Horny is easy. Horny is not necessarily good-looking. In fact, the best sort of horny is not conventionally goodlooking, because horny is just you want to take them to bed, whether or not they’re good-looking, and if they’re not goodlooking the wanting to take them to bed has the added value of mystery. Sigourney Weaver is horny.

But sexy. Sexy is difficult, and maybe that’s why it’s so wonderful. The best-looking girl in the world can stop being sexy the moment she says her first words to you, if they are words that fail to interest you. Sex can be many different things, but the best sex is in the head as well as the underwear, and that’s where sexy comes in. Like good-looking, sexy can be different things to different people. Again, that’s why it’s so great.

-from the book "what men think about sex".

Subic

the king in the original king and i movie is fucking hot. always has been hot.

"yes masterrrrrr. i will be your slaaaveeee."

in other news, i uploaded the pics from the gig and subic already:

indiemo


the girls minus krisna :(


i wanted to post the pics of carlo singing like a buffoon but hes going to kill me so never mind. bleh.

after the gig, we headed to pacific and merville then headed off to subic.

pats wondering what to wear.


me and crystal in front of the house.


jorge with the booze and shit


pao, the glam god, being all emo


alex


monkeys!


zee bebe monkey ees zacking on hees mamas neeple


threesome


and last but not the least, the most beautiful animal in the world:





god, that trip was too short.

First Crush

i was going through the lockload forum when i saw sinta post this topic:

first crush

So I'm just curious... how old where you all when you had your first crush? Do you still remember him/her?

After all the years, are you still attracted to that person?

it just got me thinking about my first crush. (ewww)

i was about 5 or 6 years old, in junior prep in de lasalle zobel. i had this HUGE crush on my classmate.

i was so "in love" with him that i actually embarassed myself because of that monkey.

for P.E., we had a dance thingy where the girls are supposed to be the ones to pick their partners. i was already heading to him, about to grab the little turd, when i saw that our classmate got to him first.

i, being the little bitch that i am, got so pissed off. i went to the classroom and started throwing the books out of my cubbyhole.

my teacher, seeing my running away, went after me and saw the damage i had done to my school shit.

teacher whoever: "rica! what happened? what are you doing?"

little rica: "arrrrghhhhh!"

teacher whoever: "what happened? answer me!"

little rica: "miss! i wanted *toot* to be my partner but *toot* got to him fiiiirsst!!!"

i dont really remember what happened after my tantrum or who i ended up being partners with because all i remember is being such a little bitch about the situation.

i still thought of him when i left zobel and i also still hated her.

when i came back to zobel for high school, i finally saw him again. i looked at his face and i said to myself:

"holy fuck, what the hell was i thinking? eeeeewwwwww."

and guess what? the girl and i actually became friends. :D

and, of course, i didnt tell her what happened that day of my tantrum.

New Computer Table?

do you think i need a new computer table?

the stupid thing finally collapsed on me. its 20 freaking years old. the sight of it FINALLY convinced my mom that she needs to buy me a new one.

and people say im spoiled. pffffft.

at least i got a laptop and a pc all rolled into one.

hardehar.

Fete

woohoo. fete was okay, at least i was there early so i got to watch some bands. even if i didnt get to see kapatid, brass munkeys, sound, sponge cola, and a lot more *grumble*

i cant believe i wasnt drunk. well, i wasnt drunk last year. :P

things i remember:

- seeing crystal again

- getting smacked on the arm by a stupid ass guard because i had a beer bottle in the rock scene

- laughing my ass off with carla about someones jelly rolls

- worshipping the "god" on stage *im not worthy*

-bringing my old camera only to find out that the batteries were dead

- fazoli's or fazoli

- mc donald's

- shanghai bistro

- getting a text from my pervy boyfriend "r u wet?" when the rain started and because im not green-minded at all, i replied with: "npe. got in just in time."

- watching jio (and im serious, just watch him. its already entertaining to begin with)

- finding pat at last!

- going home and just talking (about how we stink) and laughing with carlo about the night

fuck. im too sleepy to continue. basta, it was a good afternoon/night. tiring but fun.

i also ate a lot instead of drinking. maybe thats why i didnt get drunk.

so thanks to these people:

carla - for giving me a stromboli
carlo - for paying for my pizza
crystal - for treating us with chinese food
pat - for buying me and carlo fries and a coke

its weird though, i think it was kinda better last year. well, except for a lot of peoples stupidy that is.

oooohhhhh. my nephews and nieces are here. yay!

goddamn, my feet still smell.

Crap

so i feel like crap again and im skipping school today. roar. i have told myself that i will update this blog more often because its my baby. besides, my mind turns into jell-o when i dont write down my emotions, what i really feel. i guess thats why ive been thinking more than i usually do. and no, thats not a good sign.

the thing is, i have lost my passion, i have lost my anger. not the usual anger for the things that usually piss me off, like stupid people and such, but my anger towards the past.

about my passion, i have no idea where it went. ive become numb already. i cant write for shit, my poetry has become non-existent. i just dont have motivation for anything anymore. ive lost my inspiration.

maybe thats why my anger is faltering. because i have slowly stopped caring without me knowing about it. instead of lashing out, i just ponder about it.

this actually means two things:

1) my love has lessened, its basically evaporating, because the pain from the betrayal has taken over and won the fight.

2) im over it all. after almost a year, i finally got over the pain and all thats left are positive feelings.

i hope its number 2 because if its number 1, then thats not really good is it?

++++

and since i havent answered any of these suckers for a looong time:

FIVE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:

1. death of a loved one
2. the unknown
3. clowns
4. barking dogs
5. being betrayed

FIVE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:

1. carlo
2. pat
3. chris
4. crystal
5. pao

FIVE PERSONS I LOVE:

1. my parents
2. carlo
3. the girls
4. my siblings and their kids
5. my cousins

FIVE ATTITUDES I HATE:

1. "im better than anyone else."
2. "everybody loves meeeeee!"
3. slutty/boyfriend stealers
4. lying constantly
5. denying constantly

FIVE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:

1. stupidity
2. heart evangelista
3. trackback
4. why some artists are famous
5. *censored*

FIVE THINGS ON MY DESK -- right now:

1. shitload of books
2. bag
3. pens
4. erasers
5. notebooks

FIVE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:

1. blogging
2. feeling my foot become numb
3. listening to nirvana
4. farting
5. smoking

FIVE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:(positive)

1. honest
2. loud
3. bitchy
4. open-minded
5. friendly

FIVE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:(negative)

1. bitchy
2. moody
3. insecure
4. paranoid
5. lazy

FIVE THINGS I CAN DO:

1. burp the alphabet
2. make my introverted brother tell me shit
3. bite a bar of butter
4. lick oil of a plate
5. eat porkchop and steak fat

FIVE PERSONS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:

1. parents
2. close friends
3. significant other
4. lectures
5. ME (haha!)

FIVE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:

1. sinigang
2. jell-o
3. ice cream sandwich
4. cheese burgers
5. fried chicken

FIVE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:

1. play the guitar
2. draw
3. sky diving
4. drums
5. html (more of it)

FIVE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:

1. iced tea
2. beer
3. water
4. mango juice
5. my pee

this was originally 3 things blahblahblah but 3 things are just too little. so there. ciao.

"Jorge, Give Me More Drunk"

man, i think im getting older. not only do i not have the energy to go out sometimes but i feel sick when i drink. what is up with that? roar.

happy birthday pat! i love you! :D

oh man, i swear, it was a bad idea scheduling my drinking class on a friday night. (yes, i have a bar management lab class where were "forced" to down alcohol.) yesterdays topic was gin, rum, and vodka. 3 drinks that i cannot take alone. before we drank those 3, we had to drink two shots of don pedro and remy martin brandy. BLECH is all i can say. then it was on to rum coke and vodka currant. oh my god. the rum coke was good but the vodka did it to me.

"siiiir, please. i have to go already. im going to puke."

and my teacher wont allow us not to drink. i was telling them to put just half a shot of vodka but it had to be at least one whole shot. blech.

but yeah, at least its not like a regular class where i would be falling asleep. :P

++++

last night was awesome. even though i felt like shit most of the time and this fossil-look-alike shmuck was hitting on anything that walks.

grosspieceofshitmotherfuckingbastard.

goddamn, that guy should end up in jail for being a complete pervert. *puke* i puke on you, you asswipe.

but it was fun laughing with jorge and krisna, talking to richard and mitch, a guy i havent seen in ages, and bitching, of course. there has to be bitching.

"jorge, give me more drunk."

shit. i am such a spaz when im intoxicated.

jorge: "rica, you have bad taste man." (referring to carlo)
me: "no, i have the best taste. i also taste the best." (wink, wink)

and later, its the gig in bf with indiemo and kapatid. wooohooo!

i am so glad i dont have homework for this weekend. not like im going to it anyway. bleh.

I Miss You Lolo

its been two years since my lolo (grandfather) passed away. its really weird. it feels like it just happened. i really do miss him.

i remember the day it happened. i was sleeping and planning to stay that way til late because my class was still in the afternoon that day.

i remember my maid waking me up, shaking me. i was so pissed off. it was 6:05am. "what the hell is she doing? trying to torture me?" then she said, in a panicked voice: "rica! yun lolo mo! wala na yun lolo mo!"
("rica! your grandfather! your grandfather is gone!")

i woke up immediately and ran to the room where he was staying. all i could see was my mom crying and yelling, "papi! papi, dont leave me!" and my brother just staring out the window. i couldnt stand anymore. i just sank slowly on the chair beside the door. then, i cried. then they told me that he died at 6am, i was 5 minutes late.

we knew he was sick and there was no chance that he was going to get better but the night before he left us, my brother, my cousin, and i were with him and it was the first day in weeks that he was so lively, so energetic.

i remember him mumbling to us: "im going to start walking again tomorrow." with a huge smile on his face. i was so happy, so relieved. the whole night, i was just thinking: "hes getting better. hes not going to die. everything will be better tomorrow."

and everything did get better the next day. the next day, his suffering ended. and even though our family hurt so much, we all knew that he was happier. that he wasnt in pain anymore.

i hated seeing him in pain. i hated squeezing his hand and he didnt even have enough energy to squeeze back. i hated hearing him mumbling incoherent words. i hated hearing him moan in pain every few minutes.

but what i hate most is losing him, not being able to tell him that i love him, not being to let him know how much he means to me, how proud i am for being his granddaughter

he did so many great things in his lifetime. us kids found out most of them after he died. he was so humble, caring, generous, and loving. he didnt even tell his grandkids about his accomplishments.

i miss you lolo. wherever you are, please know that im still thinking of you.

"Tita Yeeca"

why does this weekend have to suck balls?

i made myself go out last night even though i was still sick and i was pretty okay until it started raining. i swear, greenbelt is not a appealing place to be when its pouring.

i got pretty drunk off a san mig light and 2 bottles of red horse.

i went home befoore 1am because

1) i was drunk.
2) i was getting sicker.
3) i was on the verge of fainting.

and tonight, i dont know if im going out or not because my niece an nephew are sleeping here and i have to be in alabang at 10-bloody-am tomorrow. plus, im still kinda hungover but carlo sort of cured it awhile ago. *wink* *wink*

roar.

oh yeah, my niece is too adorable. i was joking that carlo doesnt love me and when he was leaving, she wouldnt kiss him because, in her words, "he doesnt love you tita yeeca. i love you." that was too cute. yun lang.

bored. bored. bored.

i usually love the rain but its starting to make me feel like shit.

p.s.
will someone please be kind enough to explain to me how the hell that trackback thing works? because i have tried to read haloscan's info on it and it still doesnt make any sense. humor me for a bit.