Lies

i absolutely hate this.

i hate not knowing what to do or what to think. i hate thinking that im doing the wrong thing by ending the best thing that has ever happened to me.

i just stand the lied anymore. i just cant have my trust broken all over again. i love him so muuch but he has hurt me so many times and i have always forgiven him but he always, always does something to break his promise. i dont want to let him go, i dont ever want to let him go because i know that he makes me happy and that i will never feel this way for anyone else ever again.

if he can lie about such a simple thing, what else can he lie about? i dont even want to know. i cant do this anymore but i cant let him out of my life.

i dont deserve this. i have been nothing but loyal and honest these past years. why the fuck does this have to happen 5 days before our 3rd anniversary? how the hell can i get up tomorrow morning and endure 8 grueling hours of bullshit with what im feeling right now?

i cant.

i just want to lie down, close my eyes and sleep this off.
and of course, to make everything more fine and dandy, im fucking sick.