I Meant It

"We will hurt each other babe, we will fight but I will give it all my best not to hurt you and just make you happy." 

-Charlie

So, we broke up. Funnily enough, I knew that it would happen. I was thinking about it but I just tried so hard to ignore the thoughts in my head and told myself that it will be okay in time. And maybe it will be. Just not this time. Not now.

We couldn't see each other as much as wanted to which eventually led to awkward silences when we were together and the relationship just started to dwindle. We both felt it. We both knew it.

And in the end, it was him who decided to open my eyes to it.

Of course, I decided that cursing him out til I ran out of breath was the best response. Which was reasonable at that time but when my head cleared, when my heart stopped pounding, I realized that he was right. And that I had no right to get mad at him for saying something that I have been feeling as well. In other words, I can't give him shit for being honest (as he has always been) with me.

The second conversation turned out to be better.

I apologized for yelling and throwing a bitchfit and he told me that he didn't blame me at all, that he completely understood why I reacted that way.

He then proceeded to tell me that I was a great girlfriend, an amazing person, and that I was the best girlfriend he ever had.

"Noone ever took care of me the way you did, you know that? Not even my Dad"

"Of course I'll take care of you. I cared about you. I still do."

"You have absolutely no idea how much that means to me."

I thanked him for always being there for me whenever I needed him, for being my rock and the shoulder I leaned on during my breakdowns.

"You can call, text me, or we can hang out when you want to. I'm still here for you."

"I was planning on that. You know you can call me anytime. And I really mean that."

"I think our timing was just off."

"Yeah. I have so much going on and so do you.I didn't want to take it all out on you."

"I know. Oh well. You never know. Maybe in the future or something."

"Definitely. I just want to get my shit together. I'm so glad things are okay between us."

I'm not saying that I'm not sad or hurt. I still am. and I miss him terribly.

But it's good to know that there's a light in the tunnel somewhere.
That there might be hope of another chance for us.

Thank you for being amazing from the beginning til the end.